A Year Without Blogging...and Life Lately

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Its been almost a year since I posted anything on here, I've been writing and rewriting this post for the last week trying to come up with the words for my first post back. What keeps coming to me is that I miss writing. I REALLY miss writing. Despite the fact that I know not a lot of people read this website I need this space for myself. If others read it and find what I write entertaining or helpful for them then that's great but I find writing therapeutic and so for now I need this for me.

So whats happened in the last year away? A lot and yet nothing at all really.

Something I'm proud of is I started a small photography business with my friend Hillary. Last year I was trying to build up a portfolio and it took off for a while and I was encouraged by friends and family to try and make something out of it. So Hillary and I created Little Red Arrow. It's taking a lot of time to get going and get off the ground. More time then I want it to. Unfortunately I find my motivation for the business lacking. It's my own fault really. I love photography. I love taking photos and exploring new places. I want to make this business into a full time job. And I know if I put the time into it, I can do it. A part of me knows I have the talent for it. What I lack is the confidence to hammer down and really make it into something.

Unfortunately I get inside my head too much and talk myself down, but I know if I don't try I'll only regret it. I think what really scares me, is trying to make it work and not succeeding and then the voice inside my head will win. Yep I'm that person...the person who seems positive but really is just scared.

Which leads me to the next big thing that happened to me within the last year. I don't want to get into it to much in this post because I plan on talking about it in another post later. But here is the down low. Earlier this year after fighting it for a long time, I admitted to myself that I suffer from what I thought was seasonal depression. I went to my doctor and after talking to him about my problems I was told that it wasn't seasonal depression I was suffering from but depression in general, and what he thinks is PTSD. None of this surprises me at all. I've always kind of known something was up. Most people shouldn't feel about themselves what I feel and think in my head.

I feel like I'm on the right track now. I'm on some meds and I'm seeing some therapists and working through everything. It's not easy and some days really suck. I feel a little stronger by seeking help and realizing something was wrong and needed to be fixed. I know this is going to take a while to get back to being truly happy, but its better then what I felt before.

The biggest thing to happen to me this year was selling our condo. This for us took a lot of tears and years of money struggling to come to terms with. Richard and I loved this condo from the moment we saw it. When we bought it over three years ago it was at the top price range of what we wanted to spend but because it had everything we wanted in a condo, and had room to change and design the way we wanted, we decided this was going to be our forever home.

Unfortunately being first time buyers, we didn't know the questions to ask when looking at condos. We didn't know that any extra money we had at the time would go into keeping a crappy car on the road. Or that the condo fees, after being told were capped off, actually weren't and continued to rise. Eventually it got to the point were it took its toll on us. And after a good cry we seeked help and decided that selling the condo now instead of in a few years was the best option for us.

So in just over a month we move into my brothers home for a year while we get out of debt and start saving for a new place. I'm really looking forward to moving in with him and his wife and daughter. They are all so positive and while I'm not so naive to think everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, I do think this is the best move we've made for us in a long time.

I'm looking forward to this year and what it will bring. I'm looking forward to saving money and enjoying life a little more. This weekend I'm off to Algonquin Park with my uncle and niece for a photo adventure. Then I have to start packing up the condo and getting ready for the move. Its gonna be a busy month for me but I'm hoping to get more posts written and make this more of a common thing. I'm also looking to revamping the blog and coming up with a new design and feel. Really start to hammer down on my side business and get it to the level I want it to be at.

So if you're reading this I hope you stick around and see what else I have to offer. Let me know if there's anything you want to hear about or if you have any questions or thoughts, and I will do my best to write back or do a post on it. For now I'm going to enjoy the calm before the storm that is moving.