I suppose I should start this post off by touching on some terminology. In my introductory post I tended to generically refer to everything as a 'haunted attraction'. The term 'haunt', however, more commonly refers to seasonal attractions, 'Halloween Haunts', that appear in the month of October. Year round attractions on the other hand are either referred to as haunted houses or dark rides. A haunted house is pretty much what it sounds like, you walk through the halls of a creepy castle or mansion and are scared by gags (mechanical props) or actors that jump out at you from the shadows. A dark ride is similar only you're strapped into a cart that takes you around on a track. Dark rides also aren't always scary. The 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and 'Small World' attractions at Disney World are both dark rides but for the purposes of this article when I say dark ride I'm referring specifically to hard top (fixed location) and trailer top (temporary location) ghost train type attractions. (For more information on dark rides visit:
http://www.laffinthedark.com/)
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| Dante's Inferno at Coney Island, never been but a good example of the sort of dark ride that you used to be able to see at the CNE. | |
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It was actually the dark rides at the CNE that sparked my love for scary amusements. I would always stare up at them in horror when I was a kid, holding my mum's hand as we walked through the crowded CNE midway. Horrible, rickety metal contraptions they were, towering two stories high (which looks enormous when you're a kid). Some were all painted in red, orange and yellow with depictions of monsters, demons and people suffering in Hell, others were all greens and deep blues with skeletons in crows cages, vultures on castle ramparts and rotting ghouls clawing their way out of the earth. I was too scared to go near them as a young child, I was even scared to walk past them lest something pounce from one of the clattering double doors and drag me kicking and screaming to my doom. At some point however, I forget exactly what age, I dared to finally ride one and had the time of my life! Sadly this was only a few years before they went out of style. If you go to the CNE now you'll likely only find pithy one story trailer top dark rides like the "Haunted Mansion", pictured below.
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| The type of Dark Ride you're more likely to see at the CNE today |
These just take you around in a short C shaped route and in this particular model they hadn't even bothered to fill in the cracks along the seams so sunlight came pouring in from all directions, lighting the whole thing up.
Alas, the Golden Age of the dark ride is behind us. There are, however, still a few hard top dark rides to be found in Ontario, though in truth they really aren't all that dark. Interactive shooting dark rides have become all the rage in the modern amusement scene of Ontario. Such attractions utilize dark lighting and fluorescent paint, like the "Putting Edge" indoor mini-golf courses. You're armed with a lazer gun and as the cart wheels you around you fire at targets to trigger the various ghastly gags along the way. These attractions are aimed at children, but being a fanatic I've been on two anyway.
Before I proceed I intend to rate the following six attractions I review below based on two 1-5 scales of criteria. The first is 'spookiness'
which will measure the attractions atmosphere and spectacle. The second will be 'scariness'
which will deal more with the attractions effectiveness in scaring it's visitors eg. jump-scare props, actors and effects designed to disorient the senses.
Scooby Doo's Haunted Mansion
"Scooby Doo's Haunted Mansion" is an interactive shooting dark ride located at "Canada's Wonderland". The first thing I remember about this ride was it's grueling line up. Each cart can only carry two people, and I think there are only about four or five carts total, which have to be evenly spaced so there are never two in the same room at the same time. Because of this the line moves very slowly, a problem made all the worse by the fact that the line is mercilessly un-shaded. So, as you melt away beneath the blaring summer sun you will occasionally pass a sign declaring: '45min from this point', '30min from this point' and so on. I think this is meant to ease your passing but in truth all it does is make your suffering more acute.
After what feels like a hike through the seven circles of hell you at last arrive at the ride. Once you're seated they reset the score board on your cart and you're on your way. Now, keep in mind this ride is on the border of Hanna Barabera Land (or whatever it's called now), which is the kids section of Wonderland. This attraction is more dim than dark and the gags are all cartoonish and Scooby Doo themed. As you fire at the targets you'll make grinning ghosts appear in portraits, grimacing ghouls pop up from behind graves, top hatted skeletons play pipe organs and, of course, there are various appearances from the title character and friends. Not at all scary but good fun for kids if you can stand the wait. At the end your score is tallied with whoever you attended the ride with, but there's no prize for winning so unless you have extremely competitive friends this doesn't add much to the experience.
Rating
Spookiness:
While there is no shortage of decor and spectacle it is more silly than spooky, owing largely to the rides Sunday morning cartoon show subject matter.
Scariness:
It's hard to be startled by a gag you consciously trigger and all of the gags pop out rather slowly and are not accompanied by any loud, startling noises.
Ghost Blasters
The second year round dark ride attraction I visited was called "Ghost Blasters". Located on Cliffton Hill in Niagara Falls this is another interactive shooter. It's similar in many ways to "Scooby Doo's Haunted Mansion" sans the trade mark character theme. It's a little bit longer and, while still cartoonish and kiddy, comes across a little less silly than Scooby's. On the plus side this ride is located in the Midway arcade, so the line up is indoors making it not only shaded but air conditioned.
The main problem with shooter attractions like this is that you can't actually see the lazer beam, which makes the targets difficult to aim at. If you have naturally lousy aim, like me, it's possible to go through the entire ride without triggering a single gag. It also tends to detract from the atmosphere since you're so focused on the activity you don't really get a moment to take in the setting. All in all just another watered down family attraction, not scary but still fun.
Rating
Spookiness:
I'll give this one a slightly higher spookiness score. Like Scooby's there is a lot of spectacle only here it doesn't suffer from excessive cartoonishness. This particular attraction also has a few props (like a swooping grim reaper headstone gag) that are pretty cool.
Scariness:
Again, self triggered gags, slow moving, no loud noises.
As it happens nearly every other year round scary attraction in Ontario is also located on or near Cliffton Hill. These are walk-through haunted house attractions and they run the gambit from charming to horrifying. Starting at the bottom of Cliffton and working our way up we begin at...
The Haunted House
This is actually my favorite attraction in Niagara Falls, I make it a point to visit "The Haunted House" nearly every time I'm there. It is still considered a family attraction as evidenced by the fact that it's sold as part of the Cliffton Hill family value package. As I mentioned in the introductory post, though, I prefer attractions with a lot of atmosphere and while I wouldn't say the atmosphere in "The Haunted House" is thick or particularly convincing an attempt is at least made. This is by far the most visually interesting haunted house attraction on Cliffton Hill.
That being said it isn't exactly what I would call scary. There are no live actors, it's all props and gags, many of which are not too startling. The decor is all quite ghoulish and not as family friendly as "Ghost Blasters", so if you have sensitive kids this might not be for them. This attraction is also pretty dark with lots of shadowy, low lit rooms and hallways and there are a few areas that are pitch black. Lastly, in an amusement area with many disappointingly short attractions "The Haunted House" is quite a satisfying length. Ultimately it's this combination of spectacle and duration that really makes me feel that this attraction is money well spent in comparison to much of what Cliffton Hill has to offer.
Rating
Spookiness:
Not a terribly immersive atmosphere but the attempt is made to create a spooky ambiance which, though lacking, is very much appreciated.
Scariness:
While there are no live actors some of the gags can elicit a jump or two. There are also a few disorienting uneven floor tricks and dark spots.
Dracula's Haunted Castle
Next on our trip up Cliffton Hill is "Dracula's Haunted Castle". It is at this point in our journey that the haunted houses make a polar flip from the family friendly fare I've reviewed thus far. They focus more heavily on the scare than the aforementioned attractions. Sadly this is often to the detriment of atmosphere.
Named after the infamous vampire as portrayed by the legendary Bela Lugosi this attraction is fittingly dark. This is also the only attraction I've ever been to that lets you choose your spice level, as it were. When purchasing your tickets you'll be prompted to choose a 'scare level' of 'daring', 'crazy' or 'hardcore'. My wife and I went 'daring' the first time and 'crazy' the second. This attraction utilizes live actors and the scare level dictates exactly how vigorously they are allowed to harass you (mid level up permits them to prod and grab you).
As stated there isn't much by way of atmosphere in Dracula's. There are a few diorama style scenes but for the most part you'll be stumbling around in the dark. I was rather amused to see some of the more classic catalogue dark ride gags though, including a 'Phantom of the Opera' themed Charmin' Charles. (For more info on classic gags read this article
http://www.laffinthedark.com/articles/gunmountain/gunmountain.htm)
Rating
Spookiness:
Despite a few props and dioramas there is very little spectacle overall and really no attempt is made to give you the feel of walking through a haunted castle.
Scariness:
In fairness I've only done "Dracula's Haunted Castle" on the middle 'scare level', it might score a 4 on 'hardcore', I don't really know. Live actors snarling, growling and pawing at you in the dark. Scary yes but nothing terribly clever going on.
The House of Frankenstein
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| Continuity error... No one will notice that! |
Hands down this attraction has the most flamboyant facade of any haunted house on Cliffton Hill. It's got gargoyles, a giant bust of Frankenstein's monster chowing down on a burger from Burger King and an animated diorama of the monster and Igor that sings "Wild Thing" next to the entrance.
While scarier than "The Haunted House" it is a lot less intense than many of it's competitors. The ticket lady will warmly invite passers by, boldly declaring: "Nobody touches ya, it's just good clean fun!" (Not like that dirty Dracula's down the street). Frankenstein's does use live actors who snarl and scream in the dark, so there is still a decent scare factor that might make this too intense for young children.
I also find this attraction one of the more interesting as they'd mixed it up a bit every time I visited. When my wife and I first visited it was like Dracula's in almost every way, you went from a dim lit diorama to a pitch black hallway. When we went again on New Year's Eve they had the place lit with low level dark lights and costumed actors would jump out and scare you. There is also the perplexing phenomenon of the movie room which plays the old black and white Frankenstein 24-7 and has a pin ball machine in the corner. Not really a very scary room but no other haunted house on Cliffton has a pinball machine, so :P
Rating
Spookiness:
This was a bit of a tough call. For the most part this haunted house relies on darkness. Spectacle is sparse but there were a few dioramas and gags. Also, when the place is lit up the actors are costumed. Granted they were dressed as a clown and the killer from "Scream", which is wildly inappropriate for a Frankenstein themed attraction, but they were visible just the same so it counts as spectacle in my book.
Scariness:
More screams in the dark. They don't prod at you but when lit up they do jump out at you, so it all balances out to another even 3.
Nightmares Fear Factory
At the end of our trip is "Nightmares Fear Factory". Don't be fooled by the unassuming, non-descript facade. This is the big one! Check out the website to see their chicken out score and top ten weekly photos
http://www.nightmaresfearfactory.com/. If you've ever watched a cat toy with a bird or a mouse before eating it and wondered what that feels like, visit Nightmares.
You're told before you enter that if you want out you just have to yell "nightmares!" and you'll be escorted back to the entrance (no refunds for chickens, by the way). This attraction is completely dark save for the little red lights that guide you through. As for what it utilizes, well, damn near everything! This attraction is certainly populated but whether it's live actors are truly "alive" is anyone's guess. Beyond this I will say nothing more, you'll have to go and experience this one yourself. Be warned, though, this haunted house really isn't for the faint of heart.
Rating
Spookiness:
I give this attraction a low spookiness rating namely because it is totally dark with no real spectacle. I will however give a higher atmosphere score than other pure dark walk-throughs because despite a lack of spooky decorum this attraction really makes you feel as if you are being haunted and tormented by evil spirits.
Scariness:
If you love to be scared this attraction is the biggest bang for your buck of all the year round haunted houses I've ever visited. "Nightmares Fear Factory" is an all out assault on your senses, no punches are pulled here.
Well, that concludes this installment of "Haunted Journeys". The attractions listed above aren't all the year round haunted houses and dark rides in Ontario, just the ones my wife and I have visited. I hope you've enjoyed reading and stayed tuned for "Haunted Journeys 2: Home Haunts".
Richard Vaughan
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This morning my big brother Matthew and his beautiful wife Rachele made our family a little bigger. At 12:30am Sarah Jennifer Bowman was born at 6lbs 2oz. This is the seventh grandchild on my side of the family, as well as the fourth niece and the first child of Matthew. Did you get all that? 
